


poor lonely mind, it's getting confused

by exexlovers



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family Dinners, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exexlovers/pseuds/exexlovers
Summary: 'trina would watch marvin get dressed in the morning and notice, then ignore, the hickeys on his collarbone that she wouldn’t dream of giving. she’d serve him water at dinner and follow as he replaced the glass with scotch. jason would ask why dad isn’t having water - could he have apple juice, then? trina would smile, half-amusement, half-yearning, and tell him no, try again when you’re an adult.'⤷ The laundry is in the dryer. The dishwater is draining - and so is her marriage.
Relationships: Jason & Trina (Falsettos), Marvin/Trina (Falsettos)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	poor lonely mind, it's getting confused

**Author's Note:**

> my past two titles and two future titles are brought to you by: dodie's demos

Trina prided herself on a couple of things. She was a hard-working mother, a kind daughter, a good cook.

Foremost, a good wife. Or so she thought, until Marvin had come home late one time too many. 

She couldn’t tell what she was missing. As far as her overly-involved mother was concerned, she owned enough sets of lingerie, kept the house properly clean, kept Jason sufficiently on track. Trina herself could spot nothing that would imply she wasn’t doing her best.

Marvin seemed to have spotted what she couldn’t. She’d watch him get dressed in the morning and notice, then ignore, the hickeys on his collarbone that she wouldn’t dream of giving. She’d serve him water at dinner and follow as he replaced the glass with scotch.

Jason would ask why Dad isn’t having water - could he have apple juice, then? Trina would smile, half-amusement, half-yearning, and tell him no, try again when you’re an adult.

She’d always been hopeful as a teen to have a strong family. Happy husband, successful children. She didn't expect it to happen so fast, didn’t expect an unplanned pregnancy and subsequent shotgun wedding. But at least they were lucky; they lasted a few years out of high school before the rush.

Trina sighed, mindlessly washing the dinner dishes. She dumped the half-melted ice into the empty sink, and imagined herself as the ice. Slowly losing parts of herself, thrown to the side after sufficiently doing her job. Nobody stopped to ask her if she was okay with that.

She bit the inside of her cheek and rolled her eyes at herself. Comparing your crumbling marriage to melting ice cubes? Dumb. She was so dumb.

Marvin shouted her name from upstairs. She jumped, dried her hands, and rushed to the end of the stairs.

“Yes!?” She responded.

“Jason needs homework help. I don’t know shit about fourth grade math.”

Trina bit back an “I’m sure you do, Marvin.” Instead, she said, “Okay. Just finishing up the dishes.”

Externally: polite, orderly, kind. 

Internally: verklempt, disconsolate. 

She always felt a little extra worried when Marvin swore. Swearing meant that he was angry. It meant that she had done something, said something that made him boil over. 

Another mistake. Another closed door. Another cold plate of food at the dinner table.

Trina returned to the once-hot dishwater. She cleared the last dish out of the sink, dried her hands a second time, and climbed the stairs to Jason’s bedroom.

Jason looked up as she entered, and some of the ice that Trina kept inside herself melted.

He had on one of Marvin’s ratty sleep shirts that should’ve been cut into rags a long time ago. His circular glasses, perched low on his nose, reminded her of an owl. Wise, calculating, distrusting. Trina supposed the attribution was fitting. Were she not his mother, Jason could very well be a demigod child of Athena.

“Hi, Mom. We’re multiplying two three-digit numbers. I need help following the instructions.” Jason twirled his pencil, scooted his chair a little closer to his desk.

Trina smoothed out her skirt and kneeled next to the desk. “Well then. Let’s do it.”

Jason smiled a little. “Okay. So, the second cross-multiplication we do needs to have an extra zero, and the third one-”

The front door slammed. They jumped. Trina’s fragile foundation earned another crack; threatening to spiderweb.

She swallowed. Took a deep breath. She and Jason had been alone for a mere ten seconds, and Marvin had already taken off.

Jason put his pencil down and deflated in his chair “Why’s Daddy never staying after dinner anymore?”

He made a point in the last year to only call Marvin ‘Dad” - he’s not a little kid anymore! Trina found the slip-up bitingly humorous.

She shrugged, chewing on the inside of her lip. “I don’t know, baby. He tells me work is getting busy.”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows. Trina worried he would ask for more information, but then he nodded - slowly, carefully.

“Okay. Um, I was saying that in the third cross-multiplication, you need two zeroes.”

The corners of Trina’s mouth twitched. She wished it were so easy for herself to move on. “Good. So, six times nine?”

Jason squinted and grabbed for his calculator, and Trina was glad for the ounce of familiarity still in her life.


End file.
